I have a habit of brewing too much tea; often times having a whole pitcher to myself. As a result, I try to pour as much tea as I can into my cup so that it doesn't turn cold or bitter from being in the pitcher too long. Rather than looking at my cup to see when it's full, I focus on the pitcher to see if all the tea is gone. Without me realizing, tea starts overflowing out of the cup (I'm not making this story up for an analogy...my table has been soaked with earl grey tea numerous times). 

I do the same spiritually.

This list of thoughts might sound dramatic, but I truly thought like that in my heart. But notice how all of my thoughts focused on I and myself. I gave all the power and control to me and not to God. God is the one who gives us wisdom, knowledge, opportunities, and guidance (James 1:5 & 1:17). We shouldn't feel inadequate because we have been given all we need to be productive and steadfast in the Kingdom (2 Peter 1:3). We are sufficient because He is (2 Corin. 3:5). He is the one who will make the seeds grow, we plant and water (1 Corin. 3:7). And we can only shine when we spend time with the one who is shining (Exodus 34:29). 

So God took me out of my destructive pattern and placed me where I could not be my way of steadfast. He placed me back home where there was no campus ministry, no daily Bible studies, less church activities to show me what true steadfastness meant.