And We, Out of All Creation, Became His Prized Possession
Dread. That's how I felt the morning of December 31, 2021. I'm in bed wrapped inside a warm blanket cocoon wishing time would move slower. But the sun rays peeking through my blinds remind me that I've been wallowing for too long. 6 a.m., dark and silent. I try to process all my emotions. I try to meditate on scriptures like, let morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you... your mercies never end, they are new each morning; great is your faithfulness. Some days scripture will help calm my soul right away, but other times it'll be a battle that'll take the whole morning. Today was one of those mornings that took a while to fight the dark cloud. My heart felt heavy, mind foggy, and overall unenthusiastic to start the day. I think it's because tomorrow is the new year and I was reflecting on the sad parts of 2021 and listing all that I need to improve in. I try to remind myself that I need time, healing, and grace. But the Accuser tells me to drown in guilt, sorrow, and shame.
Eventually I do get out of bed to write my prayer. My pen hovers over my notebook. I didn't know what to pray for, or maybe... I was too scared to pray. I was lacking faith that God would be able to change my circumstance, change me, or care about me. I know He can, but if I truly knew wouldn't I be praying more? Lord, I do believe, but help me with my unbelief. I'm grateful we have a God who stays faithful even when we're faithless. In those moments when I'm in my feels I remind myself, Wow God, You know exactly how I feel.
My thoughts jump around and I remembered about what I learned in James during a group quiet time I had on Wednesday. I hope these revelations the Spirit showed me will be helpful to those reading.
James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
You've probably heard this verse a million times if you've been a disciple for a while. I have to be honest, I'm tired of hearing sermons about having joy in all circumstances. I get it, have joy. Yeah, yeah I know trials are for a reason blah blah continue persevering (lol great sermon lesson btw but I've heard it way too many times during COVID).
But when I read it Wednesday morning, three words stuck out to me, "because you know."
"Wow," I thought to myself, "Do I actually know that my trials will result in me being mature and complete, not lacking anything?" Sometimes I can go through trials knowing to have joy and knowing that I need to persevere, but do I actually know that through these circumstances the fruits of maturity and being more equipped are the results? I pray to God to be more spiritually mature but my actions show that I want to skip the whole persevering part. So I had to pause and ask myself, "Am I drudging through trials or am I pressing on towards the goal?" and "Do I know the reward I gain when I persevere?" I had to look at my heart and how I'm viewing my circumstance: hopeless or hopeful?
James 1:16-17
"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shirting shadows."
This verse always makes me chuckle and cringe a bit. Back in high school we had AWANA night every Wednesday, which comprised of testimonies, Bible lessons, games, and food. I used to go just because one of my friends went. One night a guy I knew from theatre was going to share his testimony. We all knew he was madly in love with one of his co-stars for the play, so he used, "every good and perfect gift is from above," to describe the girl he was in love with. Testimony? Love confession? Both...? Technically he didn't exactly use the verse out of context?
But anyways, back on topic... it was interesting to me that verse 16 says, "don't be deceived." Deception is not easily spot, it hides and lurks. I wanted to improve in discerning what is from God and what is lies from the Enemy. One way Satan likes to deceive us is by skewing our view of ourselves, others, and God. So I love how verse 17 ties in to remind us: all good things are from God and that God does not change. It was such a good reminder to fight the temptation of deception and no matter what is happening -- God is good. I'm easily prone to forgetting truth and to pray when I'm wallowing. But practicing gratitude is a way to remind ourselves of God's goodness and faithfulness.
James 1:21
"Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."
I hate when something happens and there's a perfect verse that pops into my head like the Holy Spirit reminding me what the right thing to do is. It's a battle, especially when it's verses like don't let the sun go down on your anger or but in humility value others above yourself or be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.
So when I saw humbly accept, I was quite convicted. I do accept the word, but it has to poke and jab my heart multiple times until I finally give in. Humbly accept? I am not there yet. I want to get to the point where I memorize scripture and listen to the Spirit organically and humbly in love.
James 1:18
"He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."
I circled this verse not because it stood out to me, but because it confused me. Firstfruits? Hmm.. I'm a fruit. Yeah, I need to read that in historical and cultural context. But I decided to just read another version and here it is in NLT:
"He chose to give brith to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession."
The ruler and creator of this world - almighty, omnipotent, omniscient says that I am his prized possession. Do I know that I am the Father's prized possession?
"He chose to give brith to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession."
The ruler and creator of this world - almighty, omnipotent, omniscient says that I am his prized possession. Do I know that I am the Father's prized possession?
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