Letters to God

You Meant it For Good

 Dear Lord,

    I had an argument with my mom this morning before work. Tears came streaming down the more I tried holding it in. Luckily I was wearing a dri fit shirt so the tear stains dried quickly haha. I feel lonely, overwhelmed, and just sad. I've been having a hard time sleeping. Every morning begins with a rush of anxiety for the day to begin, but I breathe in and remember Your love.

"Let morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life." Psalms 143:8

    Lord, why is my sister going through this battle with her mental health? Why is my aunt not getting better either? Why do I feel so lonely? What is happening with my relationships? What am I supposed to do?

    It hurts seeing my family like this. It hurts feeling so useless. I start feeling lonely and forgotten when my mom is prioritizing my sister. I get impatient wondering what my purpose and role is. I get sad seeing how I haven't had the time and energy to keep up with some friends. Unanswered questions fill my head. I desire to know Your bigger picture, Your perfect plan. I question You. I feel lost. 

    My loving Father, my Friend, my Comforter... You listen to all my thoughts and know my heart's desires. You tell me to rest in Your embrace. You tell me not to worry because everything is in Your hands. 

    I remember the story of Joseph. He could've easily questioned Your love when his brothers sold him to slavery, when he was framed by Potiphar's wife, and when he was in prison for years. He probably felt all sorts of emotions but stayed faithful and trusted You. And You were able to use Joseph powerfully for Your plans. He was able to proudly say,

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20

Satan always intends to harm us, and we can be quick to question Your goodness and why You allow some pains to happen. But You intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Perhaps through this hard time my family will turn their hearts towards You. Perhaps this is a refining season. Perhaps I will use this experience in the future to help others. And perhaps it's all of the above. You are working. I don't know why You allow some things to happen and I don't know Your plans, but it's quite encouraging knowing that everything happens for a reason.     

    Lord, keep me strong and steadfast. Let me not lean on myself but on You and all my wonderful brothers and sisters You've placed in my life. Let me not grow weary in doing good because in due season I will be able to look at all that has happened and say, "You meant it for good."





Love,
Angelina


Angelina

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